It’s all over but the crying

We’re finally free! Whole30 is done and we’re never going back.

Well, never say never. Look, there’s nothing wrong with Whole30 – not in the least. And we’re probably going to stay with it most of the time. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience, it’s that I do not like a lack of options.

I went into this experience thinking it would be like when we went Paleo. What I didn’t take into account was that our Paleo experience was a bit less… disciplined. Looking back at our first thirty days of Paleo versus Whole30 is like comparing night and day. It’s the difference between a strong 85% and 100%. It may not look like a big difference, but that 15% is the difference between sanity and the loony bin.

We had it all planned out. We were going to do the regimented reintroduction, day by day, for two weeks. Then it all unravelled. The need was too great – the need for pizza. I’d been struggling for the last week or two. Every moment of every day was a battle to stay on track. I was sick of everything (except eggs, oddly), especially spinach. All I wanted in life was bread. Or chocolate. Or wine, so help me! It was all just too much to bear, so we broke down. I, I broke down, and I took the Fella with me.

I’d love to tell you it was glorious, that it was the very best pizza we’d ever had. Sadly, the crust was tough and flavourless and the toppings less than adequately distributed. What was glorious was being able to stuff my dumb face without having lifted a finger. I got what I truly wanted this whole month – a gosh-darn night off – and it was worth every penny.

Like I say, it wasn’t all bad. Apart from some weight loss (7lbs for me, 10 for the Fella), probably the best thing to come out of Whole30 was learning the magic that is making mayonnaise. Video evidence to follow.

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